News

By Colin Kennedy

I first met Nelson Mandela when I was a news reporter in South Africa, covering part of his whirlwind tour of the country following his release.

A couple of years later, I was waiting on the steps of a town hall for Mr Mandela to emerge and make a statement I can't even remember what the story was about. Mr Mandela eventually emerged and was looking around at the assembled press when he spotted me. "Hello, Colin," he said. "How are you?"

To say I was stunned doesn't even come into it. Nelson Mandela had remembered my name after a brief meeting two years earlier. I was in awe, particularly when you consider how many faces and names he would have met in the interim.

Mr Mandela was known to have a good memory for faces and names; it was one of his appeals as a leader. He understood the power of names and the personal connection that is created when you use somebody's name.

Why names are powerful connectors

Dale Carnegie wrote: A person's name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language .

Names have held power and significance across most cultures at one time or another. Rabbi Mark S. Glickman says that our names, in a sense, are who we are.

"Judaism sees them as vessels holding our very souls. Consequently, many Jews name their children only after deceased relatives, not living ones. To name a baby after living person is considered tantamount to stealing that person's soul it's like wishing he or she were dead. (Even if that is your wish, using a baby's name to say so in public is really impolite.)"

The power of a name is a point that even science affirms. In the study, 'Brain Activation When Hearing One's Own and Others' Names', researchers Dennis P. Carmody and Michael Lewis, found that "there is unique brain activation specific to one's own name in relation to the names of others".

There's no doubt that using somebody's name is powerful for connecting and engaging with people. Using somebody's name results in a positive response towards you.

However, in this age of digital distraction and fast-paced lifestyles, it is more difficult to remain focussed on something like remembering a person's name, particularly when you're introduced to a bunch of people in a short space of time.

Three tips to help you unlock the power of memorising names:

1. When somebody gives you their name, focus on the name. Repeat it back to them to confirm you got it right. Then make a point of using the person's name several times during your conversation.

2. Connect the person's name to a visual image. For example, if you meet somebody whose name is Nick, and he has curly hair, it can help to visualise his face stamped onto a nickel coin.

3. Show a genuine interest in the person

Often the reason you can't remember a person's name is because you don't care enough to want to engage with them.

Change your attitude. See this as your opportunity to make a connection; to engage with another human being. Don't waste it. Take a genuine interest and endeavour to find out something interesting about that person.

The fact that you are focussed on that person makes it much easier to remember their name and to associate their name with an interesting fact or insight about them.